Ma and Pa getting settled

Success, we have found accommodation choosing the cheapest and most normal option, again in our quest we meet some pretty 'interesting people' One of the options a penthouse apartment in a good location - read well in the paper, on the phone Chris the owner was super nice, went to check it out with Els. The apartment building had intense security lock down which seemed a bit extreme for Darwin. The room was large and comfortable, however alarms went off in the lounge room - complete with snake pit, samurai swords and massage table - which Ellie enquired about - part time profession or hobby? only to receive a knowing look btwn Chris and his g/f who laughed NB: Chris trains defence dogs for a living. He took us up to the rooftop section, I noticed a sign saying 'clothing optional past this point' - at the time I thought it was "comical". Viewed the rest of the place and left via the lift- and ran into Chris's current tenant who was in the process of moving out. She asked "Did Chris tell you he is a nudist".. pause ahhh no he failed to mention that, to which she replied "Yeah he walks around stakers most of the time, you're lucky if you get a g-string, he's been having trouble finding a flatmate must have stopped divulging his lifestyle"
The next house, opened a door to a 45+ year old man CJ - sounded young on the phone. Poor CJ living alone and flatting at that age. Was really friendly- a little too friendly he was supposed to be cleaning a friends boat however managed to engage us in a long and never ending convo - I thought I talked alot, I think in the space of 20mins we heard about every minuet detail down to how he marks his liquor bottles due to a cleaning maid with a taste for fine scotch. We tried to end the convo several times none of which were successful- finally managed to extract ourselves after he noticed my sunburn and started saying I just had to get some oil and I would tan up good.. righht

Settled on a very nice apartment in the end the other tenants are super chilled and normal both do shift work - one a night so will probs have the place to ourselves most of the time.. the other fishes catching lots of barra and tuna.. nice and promised to take us out on his boat... very good result really

Mellie's Last Days - tear

Mellie was due to leave us on early Friday morning to much sadness as in the short time I have known her - approx 2 weeks we have bonded and share many jokes- most notable is Hemi and farms - fat arm jokes to which we have made up a dance mvove in attempt to combat such problems. Hemi has also developed into 2 jokes- If someone is being annoying or harassing you- you simply say "Don't Hemi me!", we have also banished Hemi spirits through liturgical dance and prayed to the Hemi gods to protect us and bring cute men our way. The Hemi Gods failed me recently on our day trip to Litchfield National Park, despite lathering on sunblock I still managed to get patches of lobster burn - probs during the excessive swimming in the natural springs and plunge pools.

Mellie and I, set off on the road again - and relished in the replica mini road trip of about 40 mins each way. The National park was beautiful very green, full of termite mounds and array of pesky insects and refreshing natural springs which we practically feel into after our brisks bush walk. On the drive we passed the towns of Batchelor and Rum Jungle, stopping to do the tourist thing - comical photos near signs, once inside the Park we passed about 10 mini school buses- Mellie commented perhaps they pick up the children individually. Amongst the other tourist visiting the park were several geriatric groups who were very friendly but looked in severe discomfort from the heat and physical exertion

The springs were super refreshing, both Mellie and I basked in their coolness, sitting near the mini waterfalls was like receiving a natural and free back massage as the water fell and pummelled your back. Our swimming companions seemed to take fascination in the below rocks and pond life - using snorkels to view the flora and fauna - Mellie approached me and I think they have mistaken the NT for Cairns.

Our nightlife is progressing beyond our local pub
We frequent a bar called the Duck Nuts despite the painfully slow service and moody female staff. Trivia night on Wednesday was a fine example of the fact that none of us are yet running on Territory time and practically feel asleep in between rounds . Team name - Hemi of course or competition consisted of a variety of groups with Quiz related names - most memorable was quiz in my pants . Thursday night options, several bars host ladies one of which - Monsoon has a male stripper. After our traditional drink at Ducks Nuts and Thai/ Chinese dinner we ended up at The Tap and met some our of Irish accquanitance from the previous night plus a few additions - all Irish of course. We learnt that the additional members of the group manage part time - Parap's village tavern - a place with topless barmaids 3 nights a we --> topless nights seem to be all the rage in Darwin. The guys commented its pretty hard working with the behind the bar due to the constant boob brushes and what not - the girls get paid $50/ hour - apparently it is considered good money with many applicants applying. We also befriended a Dutch girl and a german guy both of whom were really friendly and in town till new year = potential x-mas friends.
Of course as per usual I attracted the odd Irish guy who looked a litlle bit like a gremmil or elf not sure which is worse, he proceeded to recount the meaning and process of getting all his tattoos, followed by all his relationship casualities - what can I say I was smitten hahahah --> Mellie and I just laughed and taught Ellie our Hemi spirit cleansing dance - I guess to others we probs appear to be just as strange if not crazy.









The late night options were all pretty tragic - we ended up at a pub dancing the a live band playing cover songs of pretty much everything and said our final farewells to Amelia the cleaner/drinker- in her absence our living arranges will no doubt become increasingly messier and drinking habits may decline. Ellie has already infiltrated my space with her crap - Ma and Pa's marriage could be on the rocks hahah
Mellie will be greatly missed to all - promises were made to visit Spain for her upcoming June wedding - perhaps another road trip in the making


In miner news, curious Ellie enquired about Aaron's "maybe" family only to find that yes he does have 3 children all of which have stellar names that we all agreed are pretty white trashy- Eboni, Colby and Seiona. Mellie was bewildered by the choice of Colby- as in the cheese - we all proceeded to try and out do each other with cheese names for our future children - including Cheddar, Camembert, Edam, Gouda, Tasty, and the best Feta - Mellie has sworn Feta is her first choice for her hysterical food pregnancy or first born child.

In other news my camera is offically broken, unfortunately the majority of photos from Litchfield are blurry.. mumu sad times :( will have to invest in another as what is a blog without photographic evidnce?

The quest for accommodation

Searching for an apartment has proved to be a challenge and has provided much entertainment. After waiting for 9am on the dot on Wednesday to start calling to potential landlords: the options were four fold: an expensive self contained apartment in a hotel that rents outs it rooms during the wet season, sharing a small room in a apartment with 2 guys who by the looks of it had an addiction to playstation/ X box, sharing a room in a large newly developed apartment block with a army guy who is absent during the week and lastly sharing a flat with a potential serial killer.

All other options were in surrounding suburbs which afetr taking a drive we ruled out

The army option was very promising as being 2 girls we had the upper hand and Joe, was away during the week - an added bonus as he looked like Hemi's younger brother to a certain degree complete with no neck, chain jewelery and tattoos, with an added additon some mank face rash - possibly pash rash. Joes absent during the week would be made up during the weekend when he assured us to not worry if we woke to a hoard of army man passed out around the place- a mere oversight.

The room was $100 each not including electricity/ a week,no bond, no lease --> the cheapest option thus far. The room fell through as some army mate already promised it to his friend. After seeing the room we were keen due to price and we could easily vacate on the weekends- he said we were on the top of his list - we were literally being the first to view the room haha.


The serial killer option as it was dubbed after meeting the other tenant - a Perth girl who had a raspy, ochre accent which neither of us could do justice imitating. She answered the door wearing tube socks and proceeded to show us the flat very big- there seems to be a reoccurring decor scheme throughout Darwin apartments-- minimal furniture and a gigantic plasma TV. There was an extra washing machine and fridge in the lounge room - god knows why The kitchen was decorated with a empty life size bottle of Bundy room. On first impression Ellie thought the pair were a disadvantaged couple receiving government housing and was like good on you guys cooking your two minute noodles on your own - this was obviously a thought she kept to herself and shared with me later.
John the owner lurked in the corner and didn't introduce himself - the first words out of his mouth were "do you want to see the pool" General impression he was bit slow and may have been hit on the head with an axe and just kept saying sorry I just woke up - at 6pm. Ellie enquired if many ppl were interested in the room, John replied that several ppl were all of which were unsuitable and weird hahahaha.
After this experience Ellie an I were in need of some hard liquor and a good laugh

There is another option in a shared apartment which I will be viewing solo today as Ellie is working - hopefully I will come out of it unscathed
For now we a captives of the YHA - Going between dorms, some of which have a delightful musty/ period smell and ever present pool of water in the bathroom - nice

Darwin Shenanigans

Upon closer inspection reception man is not as cute as first percieved, he is also up there with the 10 unfriendliest ppl of all time. Ellie and I have had the unfortunate experience of running in to him all over town, walking alone around the wharf listening to music, by the pool and computers. I don't know if the is a cultural thing but all the Germans we have come into contact with are poe faced individuals and most unfriendly --> maybe however three grinning girls is a bit of an overkill on the lovefest for foreigners.

Our job search reached epic battles today, deciding to get proactive and register with the Entry Level Recruitment office as a backup - (have already received job offers from the Department of Justice and Medina both of which are looking promising in comparison). The days conservations highlight general confusion between government departments, and a inability to answer the basic question. What building does the recruitment office operate from? Also all government buildings are constructed with this CIA- tinted glass you can not see in but I am sure staff can see out.. very creepy, almost as creepy as resident loiterer at the YHA, who has affectionately been named 'serial killer' as he looks like the kind of person who would strangle cats and be lurking in dark alleys- not sure why he just has this vibe, rarely blinks, wears all black clothing and just watches- it is most unnerving also pretty sure he is not a YHA guest.

Only would the government make it virtual impossible to enter a building and establish face- to face contact with potential employers, led astray by incorrect contact details publishied online we arrived at the listed building in town and were redirected out of town, only to be directed back in to town. Once in the correct building, a lone telephone in the corner was our direct mode of establishing human contact those who answered were bemused. Seated I joked they are probably watching us on CCT and hoping if left unattended for long enough we will leave. Infront of us was a room labelled "sign in room" --> yes a entire room is necessary to complete the simple task of signing in, I noticed there was no sign out room, once again very CIA complete with "secure access" label

Ellie was in fine form as team leader diligently persisting with the lone telephone. You just have to laugh...

Was most disturbing received multiple texts for Hemi despite my attempt to fizzle out all contact... included in a message was a photo - yes reclining on a bed - no words.. can describe, along with the pic was the text "Just coz I can", I immediately thought just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Ellie opened the message and yelped, I just laughed it has reached stalker vibes..... probs the next step is he will unexpectedly rock up in Darwin or get Zeb to facebook stalk my family or something.. jokes about potential marriages to one cage fighter and siblings named Hemi Jr, Cage and Miss Bean have done the rounds to much amusement by all.

Neck chain man and Ed Hardy mate reappeared much to our chargin but the have thankfully set their sights on a southern cross tattooed blonde girl. Ed Hardy mate continues to allude wanker vibes with his tactdog wardrobe composing primarily of Ed Hardy and Lonsdale clothing - hot

Its official, Smelly has become obsessed with pool, or "bugger" our game has plateaued neither of us seem to be able to progress from the gimp stage, there are rare moments of brilliance followed by utter shame spirals, however the constant surveillance of 'serial killer' no doubt has a detrimental effect on our performance, especially when notified he is looking at your ass... hhhewwwww. 'Serial Killer' can be seen in the in the background of one of the pics - not sure it is does his deep set eyes justice

It was also confirmed by YHA guests that yes 'topless Tuesday' aka tits out Tuesday exists and it not just a Teritorian male myth spread by perverts and desperadoes- the group remains divided as to whether it is necessary element to our Darwin experience :)

The term 'Franned' has also been aopted in response to the outrage price of our afternoon tea of 2 scones, a lemon squash, a ginger beer and one coffee = $25, If something is too expensive you have totalled been 'Franned' or can say "what a Fran" - thus elevating the name Fran to verb status.

We have also been hitting up the none-swimming beaches for evening walks, the sunsets are beautiful and the temperature is a lot more bearable.




Wednesday morning, Ellie and I eagerly awaited this morning as the accommodation notices are published in the paper- there are some good finds- however decisions need to be made whether we opt to split the rent and assume the ma and pa set up of sharing a bed - for two months while Ellie is in town- appeal factor is low for obvious reasons.

The final leg of the journey

Queue majestic trumpets we have successfully arrived in Darwin!!!!

Also the lucky wish bone resurfaced after pretty much being lost on the first day of the trip. yay just in time for our arrival... its presence has no doubt ensured our safe arrival :)

To days journey was relatively short just over 400km bringing the grand total of km's travelled to about 4200 over a period of 7 days and 6 nights. However temptation to take a detour route came about in Katherine, Ellie seeing a turn off to Kunanurra flirted with the idea of travelling the extra day to Wyndham to see Jake, however her curiosity did not get the better of her and the idea was veto after the realisation that both her and Mellie needed to visit the bank for money.
Stopped for coffee in Pine Creek- a delightful town, however the locals were less than inviting the girl at the cafe clearly hated life and was very depressive in her delivery of service. Passed the town of Batchelor and Rum Jungle and interesting combo

Our music selection received a breathe of fresh air after I picked up a 4 dics CD of 100% hits 20 year anniversary which was meet with cheers from both team leader and cleaner/ drinker and lead to vociferous sing a longs

In the days leading up to our impending arrival both Mellie and I became increasingly crazy and agitated in the car and initiated somewhat violent car dancing and "Hemi" shout outs our behaviour Ellie assured us is clear demonstration that neither of us are cut out to be team leader. Bets are on as to whether Hemi will continue his sms streak....






The search for accommodation began again- something temporary to tide us over until we find something more permanent - the YHA for now. Getting out of the car the humidity hit you like a slap in the face,due to our road trip diet of healthy b/fast and lunches but pub dinners and a fair few beverages it is unanimous thigh rubbage is beginning to occur and is ohh soo noticeable in the humidity. Despite vowing to eliminate chips and burgers from their diet both Mellie and Ellie are suffering withdrawals, I on the other hand have remained a pillar of discipline :) primarily due to the fact it is way too hot to eat anything hot.. food sweats are pretty much immediate upon consumption of any such food.

Ellie battled with relinquishing her post as team captain now that we have successfully reached or destination, she is a fountain of knowledge on Darwin as she is the only team member who has previously visited the city so Mellie and I welcome activity suggestions. However I have requested that thursh contraction reminders be limited. In similar vain Ellie suggested we take a drive after lunch before the rain to visit the wharf and the suburb Fannie Bay - go figure.

Jake messaged inkeeping with his two day grace period - his reply was not very exciting and failed to deliver on any invitation to visit given our extremely close proximity to Wyndham.

As per tradition Ellie, Mellie and I headed to the Ducks Nuts for a gin and tonic, after I held the team up with Internet dramas, to pass the time Ellie and Mellie set up camp in the YHA Bar, staking out the resident hottie and deflecting advances from creepy neck chain man and ed hardy wearing companion -we had already come into contact with resident hottie at Reception- it must be the heat because all three of us are in a spring mood. I joined them at the bar with much confusion, not sure as to why they kept passing through the kitchen- an unnecessary thoroughfare. It all made sense when I walked through myself to find reception man- cooking 2 minute noodles alone, heyhey :)

Over gin it was decided the first make contact with said man would get a free drink- a very minor bet but due to our limited finances it was appealing all the same , the next decision what to call the guy in the interim - Ellie disliked noodle man or 2 minute man for obvious reasons..

The Duck Nuts was expectantly quiet for a Sunday night so we headed back to the YHA and staked our claim at the pool tables - practice was definitely in order before we go public again. I recruited a fourth player Fran, an English girl. As per past performances our game was pretty laughible. Ellie frequently used the word "bugger" to which some creepy old man came our and said "Its called pool love not bugger" Fran and Ellie attracted the attention of neck chain man who Ellie and I had already come into contact with - our convo had started and ended with him saying to Ellie "add me on facebook" hahahahah

Unimpressed with the company Ellie went to bed not before exchanging a few messages with Aaron - tennant creek miner with "potential" family, Mellie and I played Wii bowling with some YHA residents (a game I am suprisingly good at must have a low gimp rating) and explored our sunday night options for going out only to find the option was rife with drunk 18 years old and retreated back to the YHA for a drink with our new accquaintances - 2 Irish men and a Scot- the Scott, Mellie and I both insulted assuming he was early 30's when in fact he was 24, distraught- Mellie vowed she would not be so honest in the future. I mistook the 2 irish guys as brothers- massive fail --> bridges were built with a quick language lesson in Spanish and Gaelic. The guys are in town for a while working and could make friendly contacts over the holidays.

Something I find really puzzling is most people we meet do not believe I am from Sydney let alone Australia, some wanker was like the glasses say Melbourne. I have thought to from Wales, Holland, England even South Africa.. mumu :( you soy australiana

I woke up the next day to find I had been stranded with no room key, phone charger (flat batt.) or car all accidentally taken by Mellie & Ellie - a quiet day will ensue no doubt..

Road tripping with my 2 favourite allies

22/11/10
Its official today marks the inception of my first blog endeavor and the three amigos epic road trip from Sydney to Darwin. Along for the journey is a New Zealand/ spanish combo of smelly and melli and yours truly Liv- today I also acquired a new nickname from the Spaniard who once observed my gimpness and sped behavior is now referring to me as Mrs. Bean, I reciprocated with Mellie as the correct pronunciation of her name proved slightly problematic and every Aussie loves a good name shortening.
It was a somewhat stilted exit from Sydney plagued by heavy traffic and road works, the exodus did not resemble my fantasy scenario of leaving Sydney with George Michael’s freedom blaring from the car stereo rather we had classic nine at nine and Ellie’s confusion over which thermos contain coffee or tea, once identified the coffee had a delightful metallic thermo taste compared to Burning mouth syndrome by Ellie.
The drive to Katoomba along the M4 was reminiscent of early morning drives to Uni, the ever changing speed limits from 60 to 80 to 70 to 50 added an interesting if not painful component to the undulating road. The drive also marked our first murderous stare from a truck driver: recipient Ellie. A quick bank and coffee stop off complete with driver change in the Blue Mountains , then on to Mudge via Lithgow and a chance for some experimental and much frown upon car photography. Ellie has adamant views on car photography whether or not these views will remain intact throughout the trip is questionable.

Arrival in Mudgee signaled our first supermarket shop and Amelia’s introduction to the country town phenomena of angled rear parking to the curb. Mudgee Woolies made shopping an easy $20 slip in breakfast and lunch supplies, followed by lunch in the town park and the decision to speak Spanish at lunch time. Ellie relished in displaying our picnic pack to Mellie, complete with miniature cutting board. Mellie’s economical cheese cutting was met with much chagrin and humor given the purchase of a hefty and cheap block. Post lunch leg breakdown: Ellie driving, frequent taxi stops blamed on the change from manual to automatic, AUDIO BOOKS. First installment Cold Mountain, which I have to confess, did ever slightly change my perception of audio books as it contained alternating character voices and intonation however unfortunately for Ellie, Mellie totally tuned out and I fell asleep.

Accommodation in Dubbo, a quaint family room in a local hotel proved cheaper than a pubstay. The room complete with shower and toilet combo in one meant any bathroom visits were clearly audible to all. I enforced strict standards of privacy which meant Ellie and Mellie took their first cup of tea outside. Afternoon activities: nap for me, walk for Mellie and Ellie during which Mellie learnt about the dangers of thrush in hot climate. Since then Ellie’s obsession with contracting thrush has reached lesbian proportions, as she has convinced Mellie of commando sleeping habits -given the ma and pa set up of double beds I object on grounds of common decency.
Pub dinner: bargain $7 chicken parmi, which trumped my ill fated attempt to be healthy with salmon patties, (had just woken up from an afternoon nap and had a momentary lapse in judgment) salmon patties = Salmon flavored potato = rookie mistake. Ellie and mellie had their game faces on with several failed attempts at flirting with the bar tender most notably was Ellie’s comment in response to “ Another?”, “No I’m a lady I pace myself” hahhahah. The moonlit streets of Dubbo set the scene for some snaps by resident photographer Ellie, Mellie and I played the role of models trolling the streets and probs could have been mistaken as ladies of the night as a photo drew attention from a passing copper. A seemingly quiet Monday night in Dubbo was broken by the hoards of young male driver pumping music from their loaded cars, clearly entertainment in Dubbo is limited

The nights events finished with myself intoxicating Ellie with lavender oil on her pillow as an attempt to curb her need to frequently get up in the night, unfortunately I got a little pour happy and the lavender fumes could be smelt from the adjacent bed, room and outdoor surrounds.
Things that have already been banned:
My singing, ellie’s mouth clicking references to the Wolf Creek and psycho, food pretention and Ellie raping the camera.

Day 2: Dubbo to Bourke.

After a very civilized breakfast in the hotel room, we packed up and headed in to town for internet access and then continued along the Mitchell Highway bound for Bourke via Narromine, Nygnan and Coolabah. On the road we had our first road train experience, drove past an inflamed hay truck, witnessed baby tumble weed floating past and came into contact with a entourage of butterflies whose remains are now plastered all over the bonnet and windscreen. As we bundled down the highway, a group of camels meandered across the road in front of us, pursued by driver Ellie the sighting was manically documented and then the attention was diverted back to the audio book. For today listening pleasure a saucy tale of a London Call girl, a third resort after multiple technical problems with other audio books, given the entertaining content, this audiobook undoubtedly received more passenger attention. On the drive I learnt of Mellie’s fetish for ginger  red headed men that is, and preferably Irish a joke which has become a standard with every ginger or miner sighting. Mrs. Bean was in full form today, I struggled quite savagely to successfully throw a banana peel from the moving vehicle, the first few attempts resulted in a lovely banana stain/ smear near the coat hanger hook device.. which Mellie affectionately named the tattoo of the car - a permanent (semi) of my gimpness :)

Tonight’s accommodation is a lovely guesthouse in Bourke, in close proximity to the pub and wharf. Upon arrival in Bourke, also known as ‘the gateway to the real outback’ we settled in, downed a quick cuppa, talked to other residents and set out on a walk around town. We be-friended several long staying guest among them a Texan girl who had been working in the pub for a few months and a Scottish girl the former informed us that Bourke is a great place to save as there is only two things to do: work and drink. Unfortunately for us, Ellie’s overfriendly attitude to a group of teenage aboriginal boys resulted in our trio being accompanied by a bike gang around town. The boys were quiet keen on Ellie, wanting dates and photos to be taken. I on the other hand was informed that I looked better with my glasses on and should therefore keep them on all the times. After a walk including Ellie’s teenage entourage we took refuge in the pub for happy hour during which Ellie discovered Resch’s. After a quick cold beverage, Ellie and I strolled the streets, checking out the heavily barricaded bottle shop, and was informed of new laws which require a car or a motel key to purchase liquor.

The country has the uncanny ability to make any female feel extremely attractive and desirable, despite been favoured with glasses on only , I have received several comments and offers for dates none of which have been legal or socially acceptable.
Dinner, the Port of Bourke pub $10 meal with an Everest proportion of a variety of salads, the cheapest meal: chicken strips =chicken nuggets over which Mellie and I traded a part of our driver music time for audio books in an exchange for a massage from Ellie the exchange was done in the presence of an accountable witness therefore she must deliver. Mellie and I also noticed Ellie’s has adopted a tea like drinking habit of pointing her finger whilst drinking beer – we mocked her relentlessly.

Back at the guesthouse, a frog sighting, initiated by the frog seeker Mellie, generated much excitement for me, I proceeded to acquire and befriend one green tree frog, however no prince appeared in its wake =disappointment central

Day 3: Bourke to Backall

Bourke Bakery is definitely the early morning hotspot, a fact which venerated the tourist info man’s excessive references to the 100 year old establishment. The coffee, brewed on site proved a lengthily wait. Back on the road again, another accident sighting this time, a wild boar dead and a rolled over car. The stretch to the Queensland border was rife with dead animals in particular roos, very unfortunate for Mellie who has not yet seen a real live one. Across the border and into QLD passing Cunnamulla and Charleville, during which the temperature began to climb into the 30’s and I became a butterfly and bird killer after one bird committed a kamikaze dive for the bonnet. Tonight’s destination: Backall and accommodation in an old pub complete with wrap around verandah. After unpacking the car and a long days travel = hard earned thirst which was easily quenched. Whilst basking in the surrounds and remaining sunlight outside our presence in town caught the attention of a P plater car queue wolf whistling, cat calling and flashing, the car full of 16+ year old circled the block about 6 times their dedication was fairly amusing and confirmed the lack of females and corresponding skewed perception of one’s own attractiveness.

We spotted a body of water across the road from the pub and decided to investigate out of the need to use of legs despite general fatigue after 8 hours of driving. Our relocation was noted by the boys who followed. The body of water obvious not a river but flooding drew a small crowd of locals; an event we were informed has occurred only 4 times this year. The setting provided some lovely snaps, I even got a bit acrobatic and climbed a wooden totem pole structure, of course not without assistance. A task which show cased my lack of sporting skills/ balance and agility and resulted in multiple wasp stings to the hand.

The cheapest food in town, a takeaway joint known as Sharkys, a dinner at the pub equaled one night’s stay and therefore was not viable option Dinner: aussie burger and a gin followed by some naughty tequila and rambling Spanish. Ellie piked early.





Day 4: Blackall to Mt Isa.
Until now Ellie has retained the self appointed title of team leader a role which mainly entails accommodation enquires. However today marked her savage demise after multiple mishaps: the first misplacing the car keys – attached to a lanyard, whilst in a nanna coma the night before she placed them in the most obscured place imaginable: behind the curtain on a hook. The second occurred during our lunch time stop off, another picnic spot  another shot from the where the bloody hell are you campaign. Me searching for the rice thins, only to find a almost full packet stale as Ellie secretly open them days ago and left them open  awesome leadership skills

First memory of the day: witnessing a roo hitting - the car infront very sombre start to the day….During our drive through western QLD It became apparent that many towns claim to be the gateway to the west or the outback or Australia’s heart. Another noticeable thing about country QLD: town advertisement and information boards which build anticipation from about 70-60km in advance from actual town location. Another odd signage appearing on the QLD roads are bicycle warning for an 80km distance  yeah a pleasant bike ride 80km+ down the highway to the nearest town. The heat continued to climb reaching 38°, Amelia witnessed her first live kangaroo woohooo, Ellie officially became the most annoying back seat passenger, the combo of an aussie burger and tequila became very apparent: from me= sad bowel times queue an extended period of windows down and Queensland drivers displayed the talent of driving in the middle of the road and dodgy take overs.

The landscape started to become more arid, the billowy cumulus clouds seemed to float, suspended in the sky and wangees began to line the road a change which excited photographer Ellie immensely. BO checks self regulated or companion confirmed were initiated by me We passed Longreach, who ostensibly gave Qantas to the world, Winton home of Australia’s Dinosaurs, McKinaly and the Walkabout Creek hotel from Crocodile Dundee, the Hotel looked as if it had been transplanted there and was in immaculate condition, photographer Ellie refused to degrade herself to tourist based on aesthetic grounds.

Something worth mentioning for future intrepid travelers is the smell and taste of the water: Blackall and Clonclurry perhaps are the worst offenders, the smell: gaseous similar to methane, rotten eggs or mouldy ass, the taste hoorrriblee. After general dehydration and decrease in bottled water supplies the suggestion was bought forward to buy cordial to mask the smell and taste: cordial failed to do either of these things and seemed If anything to enhance the smell. If opened the contents of the bottle can be smelt throughout the entire car.

After passing Winton, Clonclurry: “the friendly heart” we proceeded onto our final destination for the night, Mt Isa- a large mining town which boasts your’re a ‘real’ aussie after visiting along with being the rodeo capital of Australia and and an Oasis/Paradise of the West. Driving into Mt Isa the horizon was scattered with plantar of varying heights spewing out pollution, general impression is it is a mine with adjacent town – a beautiful oasis  although mining town = cute miners 

A petrol refill after 800km of driving and 3 very tired passengers with nothing in town meeting our price range, we approached the somewhat feared caravan park option only to find it was actually quite pleasant, despite being on the edge of town. We set up camp in a donger/ cabin complete with ma and pa double bed/ privacy curtain and bunk beds for the kiddies. After a much needed shower- the night temperature in Mt Isa was a comfortable 34° we made our way into town in search of food and a cold beer. Despite the vast array of fast food joints we settled for some ‘chinese’ – in hind sighting cooking would have been the best option but we were all too tired to function. In the hot weather, food sweats occurred almost simultaneously upon consuming the stir frys. Then on to the happening Mt Isa Hotel – a flat g n t and two beers, I was almost hot enough to drink beer. Team leader Ellie bought up the topic of the time difference again, neither of us being sure about whether QLD was different to Sydney only certain that NT was an hour and half behind, as we began to recount the day a few things didn’t quiet add up – time wise, I turned sheepishly to ask the local girls next to us what the time was , their reply revealed that there was in fact a time difference of one hour – which meant we woke at 5:30 instead of 6:30. Upon this discovery the team leader position was in jeopardy. The night failed to deliver on cute miners despite learning that next to our caravan park was a camp of 150 single miners !!!! However I did succumb to peer pressure and had my first beer of the trip  no doubt many more will follow in this climate.

Day 5: Mt Isa to Tennant Creek
Another day, another early start. A few quick errands in town: bank, food shopping, coffee, cute miners spotting and we were off again our destination: Tennant Creek via Camoweal and Barkly Homestead. Crossing the border into the Northern Territory was a bit of a non- event, with minimal to non-existent sign posting. Just before the much anticipated second border crossing we had to make a petrol stop, with prices sky high, Ellie: ex team leader began filling the car up with premium unleaded at a price of 171.9 a litre thankful she realised at the 10L mark- no biggy really 

Driving in the NT can by summed up pretty easily straight and flat – although it has a sedative effect you can practically feel your stresses melt away into the burnt orange landscape and….. Wangees galore. All drivers give you a friendly wave as they approach you in the opposite direction at about 110km/h plus. The temperature reached 39° queue intense sweating with every move made outside the air conditioned haven on the car.

The drive today was relatively short and it was nice to arrive in the early afternoon – which left plenty of time for laundry, a swim and blogging. Tennant Creek cheap accommodation options = very sketchy the backpackers a concrete box with jail-like barred doors and furniture on the lawn was down a side street, the caravan park very wolf creek complete with drunk and sweating manager and coffin bunk bed, with the other park fully booked we decided to ‘splurge’ on a motel room which included free wireless and a pool.

Cooling off in the pool provided us with some helpful info from the other guests regarding best food options in town– all long staying government workers. One of which caught Mellie and Ellie’s eye a middle aged new Zealander/ aussie resident– in their defense he was middle aged man cute and we had reached Tennant Creek our ‘if nothing happens then we have each other landmark’ but come on – Ellie’s reaction to his friendliness was particularly disturbing, however I later discovered that this was in fact transference from her pinning over childhood sweetheart and Wyndham resident who day by day we are moving closer to. She last saw Jake ten years ago, he recently resumed contact- Ellie is nostalgically smitten with the prospect of a future reunion.

Dinner at the pub restaurant, Mellie attempting to take over as team leader and confidently set about ordering with the waitress, the meal arrives with two near identical pizza's - Capriosca and the Italian, lost in translation the waitress heard Italian instead of Vegetarian queue Mellie's first shame spiral of the trip.

Thankfully the night delivered on the Northern Territory promise of young miners/ drillers. After dinner we set up camp at the pool table and queued up only to realise mid-game we were disturbing the Friday night of the pool obsessed locals who were already lining the table with $2 coins in anticipation. Needless to say we crumbled under the pressure of a hoard of locals observing our game – going from poor to shameful. After the pool game fiasco the bar was the safest bet and we moved between the bar and juke box whilst being assured by the bar tenders that come 10pm the place would be packed. Small chat with the Victorian trapped in Tennant Creek for 2 years bar maid and selecting songs was a great start to the night.

The night progressed and sure enough the place filled out. A group of miners introduced themselves, most of whom were from Bendigo with the exception of a New Zealander ex-cage fighter. We paired off- Ellie made a bee-line for the one who refused to remove his cap- she admired his dedication and David Wenham looks. Amelia went for the unattractive nice one, who could have been potentially paraplegic as he never left his seat and I started off getting vibes from a dark, intense, thin tattooed miner who later left early due to an early morning drive to Mt Isa. Stranded I became the victim of Zeb. – a short miner who reeked of desperation and possessed a dancing deficiency. He also had the tendency to tongue flash his piercing which was weirdly positioned on the tip of his tongue as if his tongue length corresponded to his short stature. The cage fighter stepped in and won the battle not without copping several cage fighting related jokes. All the miners were true country gentlemen- buying rounds of drinks and excessively proffering bar seats for our delicate city behinds, this did not include Mellie’s driller- the oldest and most rotund of the group being the big boss – literally.

The night wore on favorite songs of the locals: working class man, khe shan and total left fielder- Tina turner – simply the best.

Funniest response to a song selection  Ellie to Oasis Wonderwall,

Miner: ‘Did you put this on?’

Ellie:‘ Yes I did- don’t tell anyone’,

Miner – pointing to Ellie yelling ‘Everyone she put this on!!’ general outcry from the bar.

Another stella choice by Ellie – shake ya tailfeather by Nelly as she liked the sound of this voice when she was 14. I was affectionately known as sexy librarian for the night... a name which had all of us in tears...

On the DF Ellie bonded with her man over their team leader status simultaneously commenting “how hard it is” clearly demonstrating the dictatorship which Mellie and I have been living under. Ellie later divulged that Aaron said he ‘maybe’ has three children  I wondered like so maybe his partner is pregnant with triplets or he neglects child support payments. General confusion entailed the jury is still out on that one. Other disturbing quotes from the night. Creepy old local drunk to Ellie and I “ I can’t decided which one of you take home with me tonight” = shocker. A policeman to Ellie, I have 3 question for you “What’s your name, what do you do and why are you here?” Ellie: “My name’s Ellie, I am a journalist just passing through on my way to Darwin.” Policeman: “You can quote me on this Aboriginals smell” Ellie no reply, Policeman “they stink”. – would have been shocked if she hadn’t already heard it in the pool before welcome back to NT Ellie







Day 6: Mt Isa to Katherine
Nothing major to report on today, actually….. the bananas and lettuce went rank after been frozen black by the arctic temperature of the mini fridge---> mmm black bananas Ellie was offered first taste.......came across the most expensive petrol to date: 197.5c/L. Past through a few ghost-like towns that could resemble small town America, one of which contained a Pink panther themed caravan park with all things pink and a huge metal pink panther mascot outside. After unsuccessfully locating a picnic area/ rest stop and with my driving stint coming up we stopped at Fran’s teahouse for a cuppa and or coffee, only to find that tea was not a possibility due to the urn been turned off due to lack of customers= nobody around – ever  obviously, none of us didn’t understand why the old school kettle wasn’t an option. Feeling guilty after only ordering a single coffee when presented with several food and beverage options we succumbed to scones a “ginger” beer and lemon squash which came to the grand total of $25  clearly included a surcharge for disturbing Fran’s afternoon and making her dress for the day or perhaps the price increased after Ellie enquired about the origins of the Café only to be corrected that it the 20 year old establishment was not a café but a ‘tea house’ sans tea. Continued towards Katherine when the sky’s opened signaling the change from dry to humid heat. It was also established today that Amelia is the cleaner and drinker of the group, I the music and leisure co-ordinator, leaving Ellie to retain her position as team leader.

Finding accommodation in Katherine proved difficult and expensive in comparison to all past stop offs. After staking out all viable options including two backpackers joints which resembled torture chambers and one which played eerie jazz music as if some random was sitting in the corner playing jazz flute it was unanimously decided on a cheap motel slightly out of town which assumed the usual ma and pa set up.

Tonight a quiet night watching TV and with take- out and beer and de-briefing on today’s borderline excessive messaging from last night miners- clearly sleeping in an 8 bed dorm is resulting in cabin fever, at the time giving out a number seemed harmless and for the purpose of in case of emergency potential friends over the Christmas period clearly we will have to revise this policy. Most sms received in a 12 hour period: 11 recipient me from cage fighter aka hemi – yikes !!  displaying a day in the life of a miner on a rest day
Another disturbing quality of Zeb: facebook stalking the next day whilst checking her email Ellie receiving a friend confirmation from him at 4:30am the morning before- Mellie and I questioned how creppy Zeb came to possess her full name, Ellie recounted how she naively gave her full name upon request to a seemingly harmless short men, what’s even more creepy is he extracted my name from her friend list by process of elimination argggggg this behavior reflects a potential wolf creek miner character given his location in Tennant Creek.